Sauron should have forged a set of linens instead of a ring. I'm dead serious. The reason he lost the Ring was that it was exposed and vulnerable to severing. It's significantly more difficult to remove a man's crotch that his finger.
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That may be true, but Lord of the Underpants doesn't quite have the same ring (pun intended) to it.
Oh, Elbereth, what have we become?! That is an insanely funny and good idea!!! The Lord of the Linens!
Considering some of the LOTR parodies I've read and watched, it couldn't get much worse.